People's "Don't Tell Your Mother About This" Moments

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Dec 1, 2021 1:00 PM EST

We love our parents, but sometimes your dad accidentally drops you off the roof and makes the executive decision that the maximum number of parents that needs to know about the situation is one. We went along with it for long enough that mentioning it now would be a betrayal, so uh, sorry mom. Some "don't tell your mother about this moments"are actually wholesome, but the operative word is "some."

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  • 01
    Font - docmoonlight - 1d A 10 e19 3 10 & 5 More My mom used to send my dad into my room to spank me. He would whisper to me that we were going to play a little pretend game to make my mom happy. He would tell me he was going to clap his hands, and I needed to pretend to cry like I was being spanked. I really didn't realize how awesome my dad was for doing that until much later in life. His own dad was pretty abusive to him, and he couldn't stand the thought of hitting a kid because of it.
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  • 02
    Font - -Words-Words-Words- - 1d - edited 1d 2 e3 3 2 When I was about 8, I was helping my dad put up Christmas lights on the 2nd floor roof. (This was the 80's, safety didn't exist yet) He told me to get another strand and I walked to the edge (the roof was pretty flat) and I straight up slipped and fell off the roof and landed on the picnic table on the ground floor. My dad had no idea that I fell off until I yelled back "I'm ok!" He made me swear that I'd never tell my mom. And that was the la
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  • 03
    Font - scrubjays - 1d e S When my daughter was 4 she really wanted to play with the strings of magnetic balls I had on my desk. I know they say for children over the age of 12, but she was having a really good time. She came up to me about 20 minutes later meekly saying "Daddy?" and I could see that the bottom of one was sticking out her nose. Not knowing how many were up there, I gently used bigger magnets I had to coax the whole string out. Was decided to never share any of that incident with
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  • 04
    Font - Tak_Jaehon - 1d & 243 More Had one of these up until recently, it's not entirely within the scope of the question, but a funny tale is a funny tale: I was going on a senior class trip and had saved up some money to splurge a bit while I was there. My family had very little money back then, which is why I made it a point to save up for myself so that my parents wouldn't have to. A few days prior, my dad says "hey, here's a few hundred bucks, have a great time and make some lasting memories
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  • 05
    Font - The very next day, my mom says "hey, here's a few hundred bucks, have a great time and make some lasting memories. Don't tell your father." I, naturally, agreed and didn't tell my father. The trip was friggin' amazing, I was able to do way more than I had planned and was able to help a few of my friends do the same. I told my parents that it was amazing, and each of them separately gave me the old wink-wink nudge-nudge and were really happy for me. Decades later, I was visiting my family
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  • 06
    Font - Infectedrage - 1d 27e8 3 4 I got lucky and found a Wii for Christmas the year it came out. But it was for me from my parents. Anyways, one day I'm home from school and Dad was home from work. We opened it, played Wii sports all day and put it back before Mom came home. F k, I miss him.
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  • 07
    Font - edgarpickle - 1d e I rented Mike Tyson's Punch Out when I was in 7th grade and kept it out until I owed $47. My mom slipped me the money to pay it off so my dad wouldn't go crazy about the money, which was a LOT of money for us back then. If he'd found out, he would have prohibited me from renting games for a while. I don't think he knows about it even now.
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  • 08
    Font - itsOski13 · 1d That this one time I forgot to lock my door one night and a drunk guy walked into my place. After I, politely, kicked him out, I called my dad and he was like "yeah no don't tell your mother you'll give her a heart attack"
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  • 09
    Font - mollymuppet78 · 1d - edited 1d 2 @2 3 My Mom worked days, and my Dad was on midnight shift. So meals were my Dad's responsibility that week. One day, instead of cooking dinner, he took me to a funeral of an old teacher of his that had passed away...so that I could eat those little sandwiches, cheese and desserts.
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  • 10
    Font - Total_Gur_4330 - 1d e My sisters and I found fantasy love letters to other men besides my father. I know they were fantasy because she didn't even know half of them and some were happily married. They were all about her wanting to run off with these men and have their baby, and she had a hysterectomy after her last pregnancy. She would write them and wad them up and just throw them wherever - I'm surprised my father never found them. My youngest sister would scream at her, "ARE YOU INSANE
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  • 11
    Font - Veauros · 1d I'm the one who got those massive dents in the back of the car when I was 17... backing into the OTHER car they owned. It was not a parallel parking hit and run.
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  • 12
    Font - ClownfishSoup 1d e2 3 I once took my kids to get ice cream (they were like, I dunno 3 or 4) and I told them "Don't tell Mommy I took you for ice cream!". So the second my wife comes in the door, one of them says "Daddy took us to get ice cream, but we can't tell you!". Thanks, traitor.
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  • 13
    Font - SlyOnyxxx - 1d My dad had me take a DNA test cause he didn't believe when my mom said I was his daughter. He didn't tell my mom...
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  • 14
    Rectangle - justamoroseman - 1d Nice try mom, we're not telling you what happened at the bar in 2015. 1.8k Reply Share Report Save nucleargloom - 1d hey it's me ur dad
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  • 15
    Font - dbar58 · 1d - edited 20h e2 34 My dad and I would wrestle for fun. He would pretend to let me win, then he would get sudden strength and throw me into the couch. Well on this particular day, he mistimed his throw and yeeted me into the end table. I was fine..but the lamp on the table was not. We cleaned it up and went to the antique store to buy a really similar lamp. Mom never figured it out
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  • 16
    Font - VattghernCZ - 1d The gingerbread cookies on the balcony... Yea, some of it was eaten by the birds, but not all of it. Sorry mom!
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  • 17
    Font - cosmichoot · 1d · edited 1d ! My mom and dad were arguing over what shade of brown to paint the house. My mom wanted a lighter color (too light in my and my dads opinion) and dad and I wanted a darker color (of course, too dark in my moms opinion). Well when we had the painters come, they painted one side of the house in a lighter brown, my dad and I took one look and said make the rest of the house darker, so they did. My mom came home and fawned over how great the house looks, not knowi
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  • 18
    Human body - Icallthattuesday · 1d My grandmother made me swear I wouldn't tell my grandfather we spoke to a democrat at the store.
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  • 19
    Font - WACK-A-n00b · 1d When I was 14 we went for a family bike ride. I got to the car first, dropped my bike, got the hide-a-key and went to move the car as a joke (it got stolen kind of joke). Drove right over my bike. Told my mom, and we told my dad that it got bent going off a sweet jump. The bike store guy didn't believe it, but he was a family friend and gave us a rental at a discount. Like 20 years later we finally told him the truth. Now he has dementia, and thinks it got wrecked off a s
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  • 20
    Font - ro536ud · 1d . edited 1d O 3 Swapped out the salt in the salt shaker at my parent's house for a low sodium alternative. Told my mom so she could deny it tasted different incase my dad ever said anything (he hasn't).
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